Ritesh’s Technical Blog

jokes

High Up

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and
do nothing?”

“Sure, why not,” replied the eagle. So, the rabbit sat on the ground
below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on
the rabbit, and ate it.

Moral :

TO BE SITTING AND DOING NOTHING, YOU MUST BE SITTING VERY, VERY HIGH UP.

First Say

A sales rep, an administrative clerk, and their manager are walking to
lunch, when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it, and a genie pops
out, proclaiming, “I’ll give each of you just one wish.”

“Me first! Me first!” says the administrative clerk. “I want to be in
the Bahamas, Driving a speedboat without a care in the world.” …Poof –
she’s gone!

“Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii,
relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of
Pina Coladas, and the love of my life.” … Poof – he’s gone!

“OK, your turn,” the Genie says to the manager.

The manager states, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”

Moral :

ALWAYS LET YOUR BOSS HAVE THE FIRST SAY!

Sardarji and an American

A Sardarji and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The American wants to play a game. Sardarji is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, “I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa.”

Again, he declines and tries to get some sleep. The American, now agitated, says, “Okay, if you don’t know the answer, you pay me $5,and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500.”
This catches the Sardarji’s attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.

The American asks the first question: “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?” The Sardarji doesn’t say a word, reaches into his wallet, pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the American. “Okay,” says the American, “your turn”.

He asks, “What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?”
The American, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer & searches all his preferences……..no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress… no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the Sardarji and hands him $500. The Sardarji thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep. The American, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the Sardarji and asks “Well, what’s the answer?”

Without a word, the Sardarji reaches into his purse, hands the American $5, and goes back to sleep. And you thought Sardars were dumb!!!!!!!

Avoidable Exposure

A man is getting into the shower as his wife is getting out when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. She opens
the door to find their next door neighbor, Bob. Before she can say a
word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.” After thinking
for a moment, she drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. Wrapping herself in
the towel, as she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, “Who was
that?”

“It was Bob,” she replied.

“Great!” her husband says, “Did he say anything about the $800 he owed
me?”

Moral :

IF YOU SHARE CRITICAL INFORMATION PERTAINING TO CREDIT AND RISK WITH YOUR SHAREHOLDERS (AND MANAGEMENT TEAM), IN TIME, YOU MAY BE IN A POSITION TO PREVENT AVOIDABLE EXPOSURE.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Archives

Blog Stats

  • 54,770 hits
%d bloggers like this: